When God says “You are enough – give thanks.”

2025 was a harsh year. I lived in a state of frequent panic. My decisions were rushed and unclear, and it felt like I was battling one challenge just to find another one around the corner.

Even while new leads for my business were limited, I leapt to diversify my Pilates studio. One reason for this was that I needed to create more space, as a key staff was often intense and I needed some space away from her.

I believe it is right to put people first when running a business, yet I had to learn the hard truth that relational realities often take time to surface and reveal what is truly going on.

This key staff was energetic and capable. I was looking forward to a powerful, synergistic partnership. But she eventually chose to leave. And then, I began to see what had really taken place. She had sowed negativity amongst other staff and clients. I felt betrayed. The very person who I had spent the most time grooming for larger responsibilities had turned around and sowed discord.

It has been six months since that time, and the business is turning around. I have sought help from mentors, business leaders and spiritual directors – learning to sort through the layers of fear and anxiety. I am learning to be able to sit with uncertainty, and to be comfortable with not being in full control of outcomes – something I assumed I am responsible for as the boss, and the way I have learnt to handle life.

As I look back and reflect, I recognise that forgiving this staff is crucial, and yet it is also a work in progress. As I jotted down our conversations and her behaviour, piecing together what had happened, I realised that I had been her idol — someone she was close to worshipping at work. And when I, as her idol, began making decisions that did not align with her idealised image of a perfect leader, the relationship faltered. Her admiration gave way to a cynical attitude. While competent and strong, this staff was struggling in her sense of personal identity, and it may be that she was seeking something I was not able to provide. Truly, the lack of a solid identity in Christ can drive us to find our identity in other people — and that almost always leads to disappointment, because people are imperfect.

Business leadership requires making decisions aligned to our core values, but some decisions may involve tensions between values and commerce. As long as intent is communicated well and others are not deliberately hurt, a decision made in good faith is valid — even if what was right today proves difficult tomorrow, as market forces or finances shift the ground beneath us. As followers and staff, we are called to adjust and to trust. That staff did initially claim to understand, and in my heart, I believe she truly did. But over time, after many decisions made within uncertainty and grey areas, her idealised view of the perfect leader crumbled. Without a strong identity in Christ, she lacked the steadfastness to hold on to the vision of the business. 

Soon, she doubted everything I did. Trust eroded, and she became hostile. As the founder and business owner, I found myself walking on eggshells, bracing for the next sharp and cutting remark.

I struggled emotionally. As a leader, I questioned my own sense of worth and competence. I condemned myself for trusting people, for allowing certain behaviours to go unaddressed, for failing to see what was coming before relationships were lost. I could not see how the team could be regalvanised.

I asked God: Am I enough? Why am I not enough? Despite putting people first, despite the finances and effort committed, why did it still feel like it was not enough?

During this time, I re-read Pastor Jenni Ho Huan's book Hosted by God. Her childhood memory opened a window — a divine reminder that I am enough:

"I was nearly sold as a child, to a rag-and-bone man, a bachelor, who lived several floors below our tenement apartment. My mom took me outside our flat to the end of the corridor where we could see the floors below and asked me, the seventh of her nine children, 'would you be willing…'

Something came and wrapped itself around our hearts. Asian parents do not go down on a knee to speak with their children and rarely offer direct eye contact except in a fury. Our eyes met. I, the seven-year-old — before words could form to respond to her — was completely awash with relief as my mom got up and said 'No.' We never spoke of it again."

Just as her mother went down on her knees and met young Jenni at her level, God met me at mine — and challenged my unsound and myopic assessment of my own worth. 

The moment clicked with another sense of God’s nearness when I felt God asking me to give thanks for being who I am.

I have always carried with me a deep sense of gratitude. "Thank God for…" is at the tip of my tongue and has become part of my daily speech. At the end of every Teachers Training module, I go down on my knees to remove the "self" from the work. When so many eyes are on you, it is easy to indulge oneself in the attention. Going down on my knees removes me from the centre and sets my eyes on Him — a reminder that the work I do today is His healing ministry, minted for a legacy beyond my time.

The still, small voice that had whispered: "You did not thank Me for you.” spoke again, and like a flash of lightning, my dark thoughts of not being enough were scattered and gone.

Where light shines, darkness is quenched. The brightness of God's reminder that I am enough — was enough.

Karsten Winegeart, Unsplash

I will continue to have to make decisions that impact others and shape my life. Often these decisions require far more than a simple cost-benefit analysis and do not yield a simple “yes” or “no”. There will be more grey areas to navigate, and it takes more than willpower to remain steadfast amid uncertainty. This is precisely what reveals the depth of our work, the sophistication of our thinking, and the confidence that our final decisions will align with His purpose. It takes God's wisdom, a united and healed team, and clarity of mind to anchor every choice. And at the heart of it, is the need to have a settled sense of being enough for what I am made to be and to do.

If you are walking through self-doubt and wondering whether the root of your journey is anchored in Him — seek help. Reach out to mentors and spiritual directors who can help you navigate that terrain. Our intentions are often buried deep within us, and having someone help unearth them can validate your choices, or narrow the gaps so you could yield even greater fruit.

You are enough. Thank God for you.

Joanne Chong is a proud mother and Pilates studio owner and mentor whose joy is to help budding Pilates teachers navigate the terrain of their gift and calling.