On Gratitude: I resisted, I tried, I will persist with it
Rachel Tan currently serves up beauty and wellness, through flowers, workshops and programmes. She is growing her disciplines for a fruitful life.
"Huh, you?! Writing about gratitude?!" Both my triplet siblings made similar remarks when I told them I was doing this writeup. I did not agree easily to writing this, but here it is, my sojourner experience with Gratitude.
My resistance with “doing” gratitude.
Usually, I cringe at the mention of “gratitude habits" because I have struggled with it all my life. I have bought special gratitude journals before but to no avail. Due to my critical and pessimistic bent, I had struggles with being grateful, so I was very skeptical about whether sustaining a habit for practising gratitude was feasible. It also seemed impossible to do when undergoing a season of grief.
Hearing about my recent troubles, a fellow ToReallyLive (TRL) member and friend highly encouraged me to consider creating more "structures" to build my spiritual life. Beyond empathising with me and encouraging me with her testimony, she made this suggestion as she hoped I could trace God’s presence in my life more readily and grow stronger with faithful disciplines.
I took up the suggestion as I was reminded of the words from Philippians 4:8* about being intentional regarding what we fix our thoughts on. As I thought of all the benefits of this discipline, I finally decided to get serious about it.
In July, I set up a simple structure which concretised the habit for myself – a “daily gratitude pause" at 3.16pm everyday. The alarm rings at 3.16pm and I simply find one reason from the day I am genuinely grateful for. It is a prayer moment to strengthen my spiritual senses and renew my mind. I have sustained the habit for four months now, and can feel a tangible difference in my life.
* “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Philippians 4:8, New International Version
The good effects I experienced gave me a newfound appreciation for gratitude.
While the routine can be a hassle and difficult at times, I started to notice how the habit was giving me a healthier frame of mind for the rest of the day. Here are the changes I experienced:
1) The practice became easier over time.
2) The midday pause helps me to re-orient to how God is providing and has already provided in the first half of the day. It gives me concrete evidence that God is in control and reminds me of His role as provider. I am not God. It is not all up to me.
3) It has increased my faith in God's good and trustworthy character; I can trust that whatever I now have is enough. I am therefore now able to find at least one reason to be grateful, no matter the season.
Faith in God gives strength for gratitude. Gratitude strengthens faith in God.
4) I learned more about myself - what I truly cared about and how God cares for those things too.
God desires genuine gratitude for our good and His glory.
There were times I was tempted to settle for being grateful for "having work to do", "a cup of bubble tea", or "walking past a pretty bush" to rush through the gratitude routine. However, God knows my heart, and does not want me to settle for cliches or superficial positivity. When I pressed in and searched my mind and heart for something genuinely praiseworthy, I was surprised to find reasons such as:
"I am grateful that I was able to say ‘no’ to a friend earlier";
" I am grateful I showed up to this meeting despite feeling fearful or in spite of showing up imperfectly";
"I am grateful that God gave me the strength to initiate reconciliation or execute the hard conversation";
"I am grateful that my home environment is now much more peaceful and restful" etc.
These are real things I am still grateful for.
Recalling them now makes my heart swell with gratitude for God, and what He has done in me and my life. There has been genuine growth, and I am experiencing changes I have deeply yearned for, needed, or wanted.
God truly knows our hearts and we cannot "smoke" Him. For that, I am grateful that God does not settle for less.
Despite the effort needed to set up the routine, my renewed experience with Gratitude showed me that gratitude is not simply a feel-good activity. It could be a God-given tool for our mental and spiritual health, fortifying our minds against the brain's natural negative bias and doubts from the devil about God’s goodness, control, and providence.
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